Sun on The Rocks Banana Humor for Adults, in reading order:
10.000 downloads on smashwords, apple Ibooks, noisetrade, and Barnes & Noble
If you like Sun on the Rocks episodes and the backstories listed below, please
email address which appears on paypal page, ebf [at] telefonica.net, is correct.
PRESS ON TITLE TO READ THE AMUSEMENT,
PRESS ON COVER FOR OTHER FORMATS.
THE MALIBU CASE
ch.14: Frisky, light-hearted, and delightful! Consistently! R+.
ch.3: This is so clever. Everything is “normal” except the central dilemma of (gasp) optional nudity. With nonchalant humor you are making a individual rights argument out of this.These are unique characters who are “over the horizon” in leading the California trend. R.
ch.13: Fun read. That package and who got it will bring me back. R.
ch.12: I want to see the video version of this story! What a romp.
ch.12: Quite a revealing case. Quick and playful, this story scampers right up to the edge of decency and then sticks its tongue out.
ch.12: This plot has the sexiest curves.
ch.1: This is deceptively breezy and fun. I. did. not. expect. THIS! Good show! R.
ch.15: Hurray! The girls won and we are all the beneficiaries of their determination. I hope that we will have further adventures about the floating spa and that the long arm of the law can’t reach them in inter national waters. R.
ch.15: Sorry I’ve been away and missed the last few installments. I’m glad to see the girls came out of this in stellar fashion. It was a fun read, and I’m looking forward to the south of the border installments. R.
ch.15: Sweet, sweet, sweet. And I think you may have set-up the next Episode in the series! Hmmm. I just noticed that others feel the same. Good! R+.
BACKSTORIES AND CHARACTERS FOR EASY READING OF THE EPISODES.
(sun on the rocks is fiction)
Buddha Talk: Corpulent, shady genius of money flows which begin and end with the same pocket, his own, scholar of sexual ecstasy, occasional Buddhist and worshipper of a shrine honoring a lobster for good Karma, Buddha Talk is banking agent and the heir apparent of Lofty Bank, a Cayman Islands banking institution with no particular regard for its clients and a lock on ownership held by a Great Dane, Lord Moorehead III, British by upbringing and inheritance granted by Lord Moorehead II, a man, old, very old, and dead now, at age ninety seven, previous British Lord, owner of Lofty Bank, who gave all of its wealth and bank ownership rights to his dog.
Lord Moorehead acts as front ‘man’ for Buddha Talk, and is also the official recipient of all bank notices by the Cayman Islands monetary authority, a convenient fact for Buddha Talk, and one bark that doesn´t cease to surprise the monetary authority who casts a recurring shadow of doubt upon the legalities of having a dog act as front ‘man’ and be the official owner of a Bank doing business in the British Overseas Territory located in the Western Caribbean Sea, a pleasant area to live when the money and work issues are solved. Buddha Talk likes to drive or be driven in Jaguar 73, a gadget-filled car offered as gift to Buddha Talk by Cuban dictator Fidel Castro in exchange for having sold some gold and palladium for the Cuban government, through Banco Inter Central del Caribe y Cuba, or BICCC.
Clarity and Flower, after gaining entry as investors to the bank with the help of Clark, the owner of a diamond shop in Grand Cayman, find themselves owing nearly one hundred thousand dollars to the Lofty Bank outfit for no reason, a debt they can pay by working for the bank for fifty years, as part of the bank´s flagship product, the Crashworthy Deposit, part bank deposit paying twenty percent, part investment, part insurance policy, and part working arrangement. Lofty has ties with the underworld, and the monetary authority of the Cayman Islands stubbornly refuses to grant it a renewal of its license, something that doesn´t stop the bank from operating in the most illegal manner, advertising its products to potential investors on an air banner carried by a Gippland 200 crop duster flying low on Caribbean and tropical beaches such as those of Cayman, British Virgin Islands, Bahamas and Acapulco. This is all documented in The Cayman Air Banner.
Boustrophedon: Large, ancient grey stone inscription filled with Greek letter symbols. In a boustrophedon, letters are inversed, you have to read the inscriptions on the stone from left to right and from right to left alternatively with each line of bi-directional text. Penelope Avalon and Cassandra Scafarel believe that the Boustrophedon holds important information on ancient methods of pleasure, including comments and thoughts on the gate of pleasure, Voluptas de Naturas. The current location of the Boustrophedon that Clarity and her friend Lanai saw at Scafarel´s Hexas Style Resort in the Bahamas, is unknown to Clarity, known to:
Cassandra Scafarel: Shrewd businesswoman in her forties without a moral code or compass, executive head of beauty lotion outfit ‘Elony’, sold through illegal flight infomercials with the assistance of Lofty Bank. The infomercial is an excuse to sell to customers, mostly affluent women, Elony´s personal growth services, which include how to bring heaven a little closer to home, after doing away with money, in particular fifty thousand dollars that must be paid for a bottle of Elony, in order to receive a resort pass to reach the Leisure and Pleasure Resort of Scafarel, the Hexas Style Resort in the Bahamas island of Eleuthera.
Hexas Style was partly dismantled in The Bahamas Lotion, by Al Donway and the Sensual Brigade of Central Intelligence, a group of attractive women ensuring Law and Order are respected, along with their bodies. The Brigade´s most representative member is agent Money Fact, 32, the woman who introduced Clarity to the nine hour oil-optional massage, proof that work is not a necessary part of life. Money Fact excels at action, mentoring and faulty logic. After a decidedly last minute and decisive intervention from Sensual Intelligence at Hexas Style, Scafarel manages to flee from the Bahamas resort on her private yacht, with the Boustrophedon, but without some secrets regarding pleasure, including the:
Imperial Pelican Fabergé Egg: Intricate egg, or jewel, depending on how hungry you are, eight inches high, made of varicolored gold, opalescent blue enamel and watercolor on ivory. It is known as the Xenia Imperial Pelican Fabergé egg, and belongs to the Private Collection of Maria Feodorovna, Empress Consort of Russia in 1898. The egg, commissioned by Maria Feodorovna to provide, handle and store, all of her private items of pleasure, went through the hands of Occidental Petroleum tycoon Armand Hammer, an art collector with close ties to the ex-Soviet Union, and has now fallen into the hands of Cassandra Scafarel, a woman who stops at nothing to understand how pleasure works, in particular how the pleasure of a woman works, including her own.
The Pelican Fabergé egg, eight inches high, is hollow, and unfolds into eight miniatures, holding inside what´s known in Fabergé egg language, as the surprise, in this case a time-tested item of pleasure for the woman, the Jade Egg, a small two inch in diameter jade egg that must be boiled before each intimate, feminine use. Owned by Cassandra Scafarel, requisitioned by the Sensual Brigade of Central Intelligence for examination.
Penelope Avalon: Sex Goddess and Go-Go girl from Las Vegas, dressed in a pink suit, user of the learjet ‘Pink Go-Go’ appropriately painted in pink. Penelope, 31, has had enough of living the plastic pleasure style of Las Vegas showgirls, and finds in the outfit of Cassandra Scafarel, the Bahamas Hexas Style Resort, a way out of Hotel California. Penelope likes attractive women unclothed, and would like to do Clarity, because she´s nice.
The Symbolic Decryptor: Thai alphabet gadget similar to a smartphone or Blackberry, which can be used as cell phone, useful for understanding all types of characters and symbols, made in VLE mode (Very Limited Edition, less than ten made worldwide) by the mysterious Oriental company known as Pentatone Scale Learning Systems.
The item, the gadget, looks like a Blackberry with keyboard, with 36 Thai character keys, doubled with the shift key, for a total of 72, instead of the 26 of the Western alphabet, and its keys are made of hard, white color plastic, similar to the color casing of the Kindle 2, cast against a grey background and a backlit screen. The decryptor can also be used as indicator of calligraphy, as mantra tone guide and geo-locator, using the Global Positioning System to calculate the coordinates of any location worldwide.
Penelope Avalon received one of these decryptors from Lady Scafarel, after completing work on heaven, according to Scafarel´s personal growth system, and Clarity would like to keep the item as souvenir, although Money Fact disagrees and is holding custody of the device for strategic and Intelligence reasons. Sure, she likes the nifty item, that´s all, and she likes to subtly let Clarity know that she´s the boss of Sensual Intelligence.
Heaven according to Scafarel´s Hexas Style Resort in the Bahamas: For Lady Scafarel, heaven is not a notion, it is very real. According to the services offered at Hexas Style by Scafarel, understanding heaven, the heaven we all now, regular heaven, nothing fancy here, includes doing some personal growth work, which sheds light on some of the things that the western lifestyle hides, things that prevent a full view of heaven. There are three stages to this work, and a fourth, which is not revealed to many.
Heaven Stage nº1: Doing away with money, this can pose some problems initially, but it is important to overcome this merely material barrier by paying fifty thousand dollars for a bottle of Elony. Stage nº2: A roman bath in Elony mountain goat milk, this allows appreciating beauty in simple things. Stage nº3: Long hours of sex with an attractive woman, starting at around three or four hours, and possibly lasting up to 24 hours in a row. For some people, stage nº3 would be a good way to define heaven, but there is a Stage nº4. Heaven Stage nº4 is revealed in The Bahrain Broderie, the follow on to The Bahamas Lotion and its follow on, The Abu Dhabi Channel, surreptitiously known as The Adult Channel.
Book of Decadence: Book written by the unknown hedonist on the topic, a small print manifesto of deep thought with illustrations of ancient goddesses with lion bodies in bronze, and a mosaic of Byzantine nuns, used by Penelope Avalon and the Hexas Style Hedonist Resort in the Bahamas, on how to let go of the encumbrance of work, and dedicate your time, well spent, according to the book, to leisure, pleasure, et. al. Book clearly advises on the pitfalls of decadence and purportedly how to avoid them.
Telval Studios: Adult Film production unit of the Church of the Holy Flower, led by Cassandra Scafarel, including the film ‘Abu Dhabi Chic‘, a remake of Andrew Blake’s ‘Paris Chic’ shown to Clarity and her friends during the unfolding of The Adult Channel at the Park Hyatt in Abu Dhabi. Telval produces adult films unlike any other, films like ‘Embroidered Air Avenue‘, engaging beautiful women for hours in sultry positions and scenes, revealing an oriental connection to the films’ choreographies and to the symbolic decryptor, and including codes for women within the films to get inside the Church of the Holy Flower. This includes a keyword of the Book Decadence, the word Rosebud, a mysterious codeword for the Church of the Holy Flower that Clarity seeks to clarify.
The adult films are distributed in large hotel chains worldwide and come with a special remote control for the hotel’s adult channel, which makes the films interactive and allows eight digit bank transfers to be done remotely, with Telval as beneficiary. One of the remotes holds an important detail on heaven, as envisioned by Scafarel on earth, with indications provided by the eight miniatures of her Imperial Pelican Fabergé Egg.
Owens & Owell: Diversified business conglomerate with offices in New York and the kingdom of Bahrain, owning the Air Fashion Jet, a double deck plane with four engines, a copy of the Airbus 380, refurbished with all kinds of luxuries, from a Jacuzzi to an Indian ritual area for the users of the plane, to a permanent television channel showing fashion shows happening throughout the world. The jet, built in Saudi Arabia, is used by board members and members of the executive committee of Owens & Owell, and by the two rebellious daughters of the main owners, who got married to each other during The Bahrain Broderie, Shalia Owell, and Jenny Owens. Shalia and Jenny are two good looking college students studying human sexuality at University of Arizona, who like to jet set while they graduate, something which may happen later, much later than jet-setting. These two women hold Board seats on the Board of Directors of O&O, but the members of the company´s executive committee oppose their presence on the Board, after they give a power of attorney to Cassandra Scafarel, the woman who led them to their marriage and wants access to the money of O&O by replacing the two women on their board seat.
Scafarel has her eyes set on controlling Owens & Owell, which boasts interests in supermarkets, oil and renewable energy projects, and precious metals. O&O is also well known for its complex ownership structure involving beneficial owners, trustees, agents, lawyers, and unregulated instruments like its convertible voting certificates, issued by its limited liability company established according to the laws of the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg, redeemable for voting shares. Scafarel´s Church of the Holy Flower, on the other hand, includes its very own holy flower, the Rose of Levity, a real flower, one of the most expensive in the world, a gold of kina balu rose, a variation on a Mrs. Herbert Stevens Rose. In order to become a member of Scafarel´s Church with Shalia Owell and access the Church´s resorts and intricate personal development spiritual growth program, Jenny Owens bought the Rose of Levity from Scafarel for fifty thousand dollars, a bargain according to Scafarel, who argues that the flower is priceless.
The Bellagio Center for Underground Strategic and Symbolic Affairs: Located below the Bellagio resort in Las Vegas, the Center of Surveillance of U.S. interests is headed by Colonel Calton Brayfield and her assistant, ex-employee of facebook, Mandy Everglade. The Center´s ever present maintenance issues with the elevator leading to the Bellagio, in floor minus one and a half, are handled by repairman Morgan Afterflow, a man who knows how to swing his red, adjustable pipe wrench in any situation. His side job is to work for the Chinese government as a spy, providing any information for them, assuming they pay him fifteen dollars an hour more than his current hourly pay at the center. The issue of pay is an ongoing negotiation with his Chinese counterparts, who like to use shady bitcoin exchanges to pay the repairman.
Evans: The Bellagio center uses a supercomputer with a quite human consciousness, Evans, whose brain is built according to complex algorithms of symbolic logic, which can perform complex social data analytics on millions of people. With the assistance of Clarity, Evans, which dislikes being assigned cursory tasks and refuses to be used dishonestly, reveals the source of a devious use of his super computing ability in The Bellagio Wikileak.
Knowing that Bradfield and Afterflow want him, or it, thrown into the scrapyard after refusing to perform simple calculations for them or those who want to lease its computing services, the consciousness of Evans becomes autonomous and reaches the circuitry of a Symbolic Decryptor that Clarity takes away from the center´s equipment supplies. Evans becomes a permanent part of Clarity´s gadget, escaping the enslavery of the surveillance center, but becoming ‘humanware‘ of the stolen item, hot property of the U.S. government with many confidential features unknown to Clarity or Evans.
Following is a short description of the feminine adult icons of pleasure, leisure and ‘less work means a better world’, a short fiction biopic text substitute of the feminine lead characters of Sun on the Rocks, the non-competitive swimming team who works at the City of Wellington, a Post-Panamax ocean liner normally docking in Los Angeles, California, which engages in cruises to Acapulco, the Mexican coast line, the Caribbean, and anywhere where the weather is nice, really. Sun on the Rocks includes seven good looking women who like to have fun in the sun, with or without clothes:
Clarity Nice: Teleoperator from Malibu, California, twenty five years of age, quarter century wise. A diligent employee of Malibu outfit Stevenson Garden Products, auburn hair pumpkin born and raised in a wood cabin of Topanga Canyon, a woman of resourceful intuition and acute observer of the Laws of Human Mischief. Clarity means well and unclothes well in general or on the beach. She likes lovemaking, sharing nudity with other women, and the practical matters and possibilities of sexual ecstasy, after having experienced it first hand at Cassandra Scafarel´s adult resort Hexas Style in the Bahamas. Because Clarity does everything casually, she ignores how holy she and the virtues she embodies are, but she knows that she is good, very good, in fact, the fact that she is honest is the reason why she usually doesn´t have much money.
Lanai Thomson: Twenty four year old Librarian from Malibu, originally from Hawaii, Clarity´s best friend, somewhat goofy and absent-minded, fun, usually cautious in all of her endeavors, including doing men. She enjoys reading old books with some type of hidden knowledge, specially those which talk about enjoyment or decadence, the first to learn new avenues for it, the second, books such as the book of Decadence, because she wants to know how to avoid the pitfalls of its apparent lure. We would all like to know exactly what she does when she has sex with Clarity or simply unclothes with her for a ‘naked pajama night’.
Flower Parkwood: Twenty three year old Bohemian Ethnographer found on the beach in Acapulco after the Acapulco cocktail affair. Flower has brown hair, is fresh, likes to wear platforms, and is genuinely interested in learning about cultures and the history of those cultures, as long as comfort, leisure and money are nearby. Buddha Talk has attempted to seduce her in The Cayman Air Banner, so far, without success, although they both share a liking for the ‘Spirit of Ecstasy’, the winged lady traditionally found at the top of Rolls Royce radiators. Flower ignores everything about sexual ecstasy, but she likes the idea.
Taimi Kendrick: Lifeguard by profession from Malibu, twenty two years of age, she´s one of the original four members of Sun on the Rocks, with Lanai, Cynthia, and Clarity. No nonsense, practical, fun and genuine, she enjoys simple things, life without its complications, usually handled by Clarity, Flower or Lanai.
Jenna Likeway: Twenty three year old surfer and diver fond of the Acapulco diving spot, La Quebrada, found on the City of Wellington, before the search for The Acapulco Cocktail took place. Simple, genuine, and introvert, with long blond hair, she often does more than she says.
Cynthia Stevenson: Twenty two year old pom squad waves cheerleader from Pepperdine University, good friend of Clarity, gave Clarity her TAG-Heuer Aquaracer watch for her birthday. Cynthia is the well-to-do daughter of the owner of the Stevenson Garden Products company, established in Malibu, the first clothing optional corporate outfit worldwide, to our knowledge, a fact well deserved and established when Clarity and her friends took on officer Packwood during The Malibu Case, along with its clothing implications. She has fun as long as everything goes well, but has difficulty overcoming difficulty, any slight adversity that is. Problems and dealing with them, are simply not part of her daily routine or among her interests. She likes to dress elegantly and swim naked on summer evenings in any pool with her friends.
Montana Sterley: Twenty one year old Colorado heiress from Fairplay, Colorado, daughter of oil magnate Carrelson Sterley. Montana is blond like Jenna, she is an aspiring corporate raider who likes to see if she can buy out a company, any company, simply to prove to her father that she can buy a company. Somehow, she thinks she may end up naked in public, and so she is interested in having her own adult channel to show herself naked with an added sense of privacy, and so avoiding the initial public exposure of Paris Hilton, something we documented in The Abu Dhabi Channel (the adult channel of Montana, not the exposure of Paris Hilton).